seclusion

middle age crisis?
depression?
boredom?
lost? losing myself?

what? do i have the cant stay put syndrome?
or do i easily get tired of where i am?
am i an escapist?
why did i wake up but do not want to wake up
i dont want to go to work not because of work
but because of the people at work that gets me to do things
thats so outside the realm of my work definition
what if im the person who cant learn to say No
do i go to another organization that has boundaries on work definition

being flexible shouldnt be too demanding as to let you lose yourself also
i know my personality is that of a melancholic
and im in my gloomy state again
im retrospecting again and secluding myself

and i just got the slap in my face
funny how life works
even google interrupts me
http://www.fisheaters.com/quizm.html
so this somehow snaps me out of my gloomy cave
and now onto reading personalities again
maybe i should take on psychology
yet again i dont like memorizing medical terms

dot dot dot
l...i...f...e
dot dot dot

life ...

stop crying!!!
shit happens!!!
and life goes on by without a care
i may with all effort struggle to wish for what i want to happen
it does not give a damn

live by the second
means id just have to deal with "now"
what is being presented in the moment
is what all is there for me to grab

just the way i look for something missing
that something does not turn up
and i find something else instead
better i just give up
and enjoy the something else instead