just a random expression of pain

working
but crying inside

tough...lots of to dos
refocusing every now and then

if only meself can be hardened
so theres no more to tamper

i may just look too serious 
they just dont know
that mood is so off

how about i learn some other language
someone else will understand
posts on twitter or facebook
to audience of unknowns 

who to follow

in a world full of horns
i almost gave up
from all the pain and hits

didnt realize
i was just running around
to evade getting hurt

instead of...
facing it
and with all my might
getting a grab on these

dont you see...
mediocre minds have all the time to spew criticism
while great leaders
in just a few minutes... have these guiding voices
with love and concern
even though you are noone

filter voices that hit your head and heart
not all are voices meant to be seeds in your fertile mind

its been said
you can only be as great as your leader
so take the time to choose who to follow

once you've hit the cap... be aware
its already time to follow someone new

and get stretched...
one more time...
and yet again

my heart in turmoil

am i really that slow... so late in blooming
im still just learning to notice that someone is checking me out and actually know it

this is making me sleepless... the emotional outburts...
of having fun...being ecstatic... when the laws of attraction is at work

it stirred up something else instead...missing someone...our sweet exchanges

i know i should stop this wondering...
if it was him...wanting to wrap his arms around me
instead of me... wishing for his embrace,
how warm it would have been...if only...
if only he wanted me