thinking a lot to disappear

why am i so hopeless
do i need something, someone
is somewhere an option

i still want to disappear
whats wrong
is it just my perspective
discontentment
too much frustrations

all getting me down
to feel drowning
but it doesnt drown me literally

like all the weight of the world on my neck
but it doesnt break my bones

if only one could just hit the push button
to pause, so i can review
or to even rewind
or even just opt to stop and nothing else

why is stopping, quitting considered a failure
when doing a calculated risk is better than just risking

thus wanting to disappear seems to be a failure too
but isnt doing nothing also like it

definitions definitions
didnt these all come from perspectives

so why does changing a perspective even more difficult
why does emotions have to play a part
maybe if we didnt have hearts it would be easier
a means to an end thinking
all rationale...
and this goes back to why we are humans
unlike animals, where the rule is just survival of the fittest

i am human, humane
loving and hurting

ever wonder why they invented IQ, EQ
isnt this rational thinking
to typecast everyone, into good better best

back again to perspective
who the heck said good is the least
does anyone have the authority to say that
even the least has a purpose
else why even be born
and lets not forget, even the worst has a purpose

in every equilibrium, there is balance
of positive and negative

just imagine a world with no worst people
then heaven wouldnt even be a concept

so i guess being in the down side of the swing
is just the same as being on the up side

thus, noone has the right to even say 'poor thing'
who can tell that his situation is good or bad

but i guess everybody is entitled to smiling
when one deems a situation good
and also entitled to mourning
when one deems a situation bad

all a matter of perspectives...